Tossed Puella & Scrambled Magica
by Slum-Curper
Summary: Who's Frasier Crane's biggest fan? Why Madoka of course! Read as the pink haired girl seduces Seattle's favorite radio psychiatrist. This is quite a saucy story, what's the word you people use for it? I think it's some kinda citrus fruit.


I should preface this with the disclaimer that I do not like Madoka. If any fans take any personal offense from this story... Well, that's your problem. It's just a stupid fanfic, no need to take things so seriously.

* * *

Madoka liked pink. She dressed in pink, she had pink hair. That's really all I can remember about this character. I only watched the series once in 2011 and I hated it, so give me a break. Well, I guess there was one other thing Madoka liked. Sorry, I should say person rather than thing.

Dr. Frasier Crane

Frasier Crane, noted psychiatrist, AM Radio host and former frequenter of a Boston bar by the name of _Cheers_. Madoka loved tuning in to Dr. Crane's radio show, and after some intense deliberating, finally decided to take the plunge.

' _I'm going to call into his show.'_

"And who's our next caller, Roz?"

"We have Madoka from… Japan?"

"Well that's quite puzzling. I wasn't aware the broadcast spread that far. Nevertheless, hello caller, I'm listening."

"Well, you see Dr. Crane, I'm a high school student that has a problem…"

"You have remarkable English, I must say. Please go on."

"Thank you, Dr. Crane. Anyway, the problem is that I met this white cat thing that gave me magical powers."

Frasier and Roz exchanged looks.

"Everything seemed cool, but not too long later a friend of ours got her head eaten."

"I see."

"And there's this black-haired girl who's obsessed with me or something, and a blue haired girl who… I don't really remember anything about her."

"…"

"On to more important matters, I'm flying to Seattle, so I can meet you, Dr. Crane."

"Don't you think that's a bit… sudden? We don't know each other, we've never even met! How can you board a plane to another country to meet with a perfect stranger?"

"I know all about you Dr. Crane. You live in the Elliot Bay Towers with your father, Martin Crane and his dog, Eddie. You have a brother named Niles, who's also a renowned psychiatrist. Your father's former physical therapist, Daphne, married your brother. Need I go on?"

"Good lord! How on earth do you know all that?"

"I have my sources. You have nothing to be worried about Dr. Crane. I'm a cute, pink-haired anime character with magical powers. We were made for each other."

"Anime character?"

"Yeah, I'm from the hit franchise _Puella Magi Madoka Magica_. It's not very good, but that doesn't stop it from being popular."

Frasier chuckled nervously.

"I'm afraid that's all the time we have left for today, caller. Goodnight Seattle, and good mental health."

Madoka put down the phone and sighed to herself.

' _He's so dreamy.'_

* * *

 **ONE WEEK LATER**

' _So, this is the station for KACL, huh?'_

Madoka brushed her skirt and walked on in, completely oblivious to the looks she was getting. She stopped at a board detailing the layout of the station. After perusing the board for a few moments, she continued her way.

"Now, Bill. I realize that when watching a television show or a movie you may become attached to a character. However, this obsession you have with this 'Yui' character is unhealthy. Stay on the line and Roz will give you the number of a professional that can help you with your problem."

"So, who's next, R-"

Frasier noticed Roz motioning towards the window, when Frasier turned he noticed an odd-looking girl.

"… _I'm a cute, pink-haired anime character…"_

"OH, DEAR GOD!"

Madoka noticed that Frasier had seen her. She winked and blew him a kiss, then proceeded to inviter herself in.

"HELLO DR. CRANE!"

Frasier considered himself a rational human being. There were some things he knew were impossible, and living cartoon characters were one of those things. He took off his headset, got out of his chair and gulped.

"S-so you must be Madoka."

Madoka giggled.

"Yep, I told you I'd come. I'm pretty cute, right?"

Frasier blushed slightly.

"W-well, you certainly have an elegant look."

Roz tapped on the glass window separating her from Frasier. "Frasier, we've got dead air!"

Frasier quickly came to his senses. He slapped on his headset and bolted for his chair.

"So, who's next, Roz?"

Madoka pouted and crossed her arms. "You're not gonna get out of this that easily!" She grabbed Frasier's arm and proceeded to rush out the room with him, eventually leading to a window.

"W-where are you taking me?"

"Oh, you'll find out!"

Madoka grabbed Frasier tight then smashed through the window.

' _Is this the end?'_ Frasier thought to himself. After a few moments, he realized he was still very much alive.

"We're flying?"

"I told ya I had magical powers, Dr. Crane!"

Madoka and Frasier soared through the Seattle skyline.

"This is the famous Space Needle, huh?"

The pink haired girl flew closer.

"I wonder how sharp it is?"

She slowly ran her finger down the top of the needle.

"Cool…"

"E-excuse me for interrupting, but where are you going to take me?"

She smiled.

"Secret!"

She covered Frasier's eyes with her left hand and flew off into the sunset.

* * *

 **LATER THAT DAY**

"Have we stopped?" Frasier asked.

"Yep! You can open your eyes now!"

The pink-clad girl removed her hand from Frasier's eyes, revealing a lush forest.

"I-it's beautiful."

Madoka cleared her throat.

"Do you know why I brought you here, Dr. Crane?"

Frasier slowly shook his head. Madoka giggled, then leaned in closer. She could feel his nervous breath on her lips. They were both blushing furiously. Frasier began to edge away, but Madoka quickly grabbed his arm and went in for a kiss.

Frasier resisted at first, this was all so strange! Sure, she was a cartoon character, but he was still making out with a teenage girl. He eventually gave into temptation. Their tongues writhed around in a desperate struggle for dominance. Frasier brought his hand to Madoka's head then gently sifted through her cherry blossom colored hair.

Madoka pulled her mouth away, but only for a few breaths. She kissed Frasier again, this time with even more passion. She reached around the bald doctor's shoulders and yanked off his jacket. Then, grasping for the top button of his shirt, she began to slowly undress Frasier.

Frasier could feel the heat rising in his pants. He grabbed the back of Madoka's dress and began to unzip…

Ya see. I can't write this scene. I'm just not the kinda guy who writes sex scenes in stupid fanfiction. I'll let you imagine what takes place here. I'm sure you can come up with a more erotic scenario than I. Have no fear, though. This story isn't over.

As some of you may know, game 4 of the World Series just recently finished. It was at Minute Maid Park and the opposing teams were the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Houston Astros. While Houston was leading the series 2-1, after a tumultuous 9th inning, Los Angeles scored a whopping 5 runs, leaving Houston with no chance of a comeback.

As you probably gathered, the series is tied now. What team will win it all? God only knows. We'll just have to wait and find out. Let's just hope that these next few games will prove exciting. As for what team I want to win… I don't really have a preference. Hopefully the series will go to 7 games, that way both teams can pat each other on the back and feel satisfied that they played well.

Remember Dodgers and Astros fans, we only go around this crazy globe once. Whoever wins, there's no need to throw shade or harbor grudges. Peace out.


End file.
